I have reached a new low....

LOL... I finally saw a number below 175 on the scale today!! 174.8... yay. This is so exciting for me because I have been trying to get below that mark for what seems like forever. The last time I was 175 was in 2003 for my wedding. 

Losing the weight is more than looking good. It's being good to my body, being healthy and, to be honest, it's about being faster on the bike. It really started out with me being unhappy with how I looked and felt and I have gotten to a point where I am comfortable in my own skin 90% of the time. My confidence is at an all time high. (There is more to that than just losing weight though) Now that I have my sights on IMLP, I am trying to get even more focused on weight loss because that equals less that I have to carry around during the swim, bike and run. Less stress on the joints and faster times. 

I should also say that I have a new HIGH.... I did a 6 mile run last Sunday... It was awesome. I think I shed a tear at the end. I had to take 2 potty breaks, but there were NO walk breaks. I just kept moving. I kept telling myself, get to mile X and you can walk, okay, go just a little further... It was great!! It was a beautiful day for a run and the stars must have been aligned just right...lol.

I am still having the left leg issue... we will call it the "leg" because at any given time it can be the hip, the knee or the ankle. It can be all at the same time or individually.... today, it's all 3. Swim is on the books for today, so I hope that will help. I am praying Dan does not try to kill me today =) 

Gotta Run... XXOO

Century Ride

We could not ask for a better day to do a century ride than Sunday. It was perfect... not to cold when we started and it really didn't get too hot (as long as we were riding). 

But lets start from the beginning: 
The morning started a little frantic for me though. I hit the snooze button one too many times. I was dreaming that I was already out riding when I woke up in a panic realizing I was still in bed. Oh CRAP, at 7:30 Diana was going to be at my house, here it is, somewhere between 7:15-7:20... no coffee no breakfast... not even dressed yet... UGH... this is not good. Threw the dogs out so they could do their dog thing, put some coffee on, got the top of me dressed, dogs back in and fed... Diana is here... coffee has grounds... grr... dress the bottom of me, blow up tires, fill water bottles...OKAY... let's hit the road. Damn, chain falls off in the driveway... This all would not be so horrible if there was not someone waiting for us on the rail trail... nice first impression I am making. So, we get on the road, stop and grab a bagel and he:re we go... hit just about every red light on the parkway. I think we finally met up with Brian at 8:30??? 

We head over the bridge and pick up 26 to route 38B, this is where we get our hill climbing in and out of the way. My goal is to keep a nice HR... Staying in low Zone 3... did a good job of it. It was slow, but I knew I had a long day ahead of me. Diana's friend Brian is a speed demon and I feel bad, but I would rather have him deal with my poke ass now than deal with my crying later! (this was declared as a no whine ride...) We get over 38B and then take 38 to Richford. Nice, easy riding, nothing exciting. I am dreading the climb out of Richford, but I am trying to embrace the hills. We stop at the gas station on the corner for a potty break, this is also our chance to turn around and go back if any of us were not "feeling" the ride, but we were all good, so we head to Ithaca on 79. To my surprise, the climb was a piece of cake. Route 79 was the best part of the ride...FAST to Ithaca! We met up with Brian's wife by Flat Iron Rd. She was meeting us for lunch, so after a brief chat, we sent her on ahead to scout out food places with seating outside so we didn't offend the other patrons. La Taquaria (I know it's spelled wrong) Not a minute too soon, we were starving. It was about 49 miles and took about 3.5 hours. I inhaled my food. I am not sure what it was, but it was a lot of meat wrapped in a tortilla shell and some pickled veggies. It was good, but I was not thinking... I still need to get back on my bike and ride 62 more miles... OH MY...

Well, we walk our bikes through the commons, you know, to giggle the food down... take some back roads through Ithaca and head to Spencer on 96. That is the worst road EVER... or maybe I felt like a slug with my full belly. There was the hill that would never end, the who who was getting very unhappy, in general, we were pretty quite, heads down and just kept pedaling. Finally I had to stop and break out the butt butter....ah, much better! Once we got through West Danby, it was better. We took a well needed break in Spencer, got some nice cold water and did a little stretching in the park. The perfect pick me up. Time to head to Candor, but as we come around the corner in town, there is Brian's wife... aw, we were hanging at the park and she was just around the corner waiting for us. So sweet of her, we apologized and headed. Quick stop in Candor to refill water bottles. It is warming up now and we are getting tired. Legs felt okay, but the butt and between the shoulder blades are getting sore. The bike is getting uncomfortable, but I am still in a good place mentally. 

Cool tattoo to commemorate my first century??

Ah.... Owego... Finally I feel like we are headed for home... 90 miles in, but I never felt like we were headed back until we crossed the bridge and were going up 434... Next stop, BIG DIPPER... yay!! Just keep spinning... holy frick... where did Apalachin go... just keep spinning... we there yet?? Just keep spinning... do I have a flat?? WTF... who moved Apalachin??? Ah, finally... Oh Ice Cream, how I do love you... (but only on bike rides or after swimming) It was the best damn soft serve vanilla with sprinkles ever... 

Almost done... hit 5 corners in Vestal...exactly 100 miles... say our good bye's to Brian and 8 more to go and we are home!! I think it was the longest 8 miles ever! 8.51 to be exact. Felt good. I finished my first Century Ride!! 

The day after...
Feeling fine...just don't ask me to go on a bike ride =)

A BIG thank you to Diana and Brian. It was fun, even when I hated it at the end.

Keep on keepin' on....
Yup, that's the name of the game. Rode the trainer yesterday for an hour and a half...hit the PT strengthening exercises I am supposed to be doing and then OWS for 2 laps. 
Today, just an hour bike ride, with hills. Tomorrow, oh, another bike ride!! Gotta get strong on that bike. PA Ave is getting easier! Loving the hills!! 

I have been watching Extreme Makeover, Weight Loss Addition. I would love to know what goes on behind the scenes. I think it's prob only one step up from Biggest Loser, but to watch these people over a year, the changes are amazing. They really shine at the end, even the ones who don't reach their goal. It's cool. A little inspirational. I am really trying to put the hammer down and get as much off before the end of the year. Blah Blah Blah... I know, you all have heard it before (thanks for listening)!!!

I have been using this app called my fitness pal, let's me put in what I eat, and my exercises and tells me how much I can eat. So according to the doo-dad, If I want to lose 2 pounds a week, I can only eat 1,200 calories. Can you say BITCH, because that's what I turn into. So, I am more of a 1,500 calorie a day girl, with training! I adjust the numbers do in the calories burned section, because they seem awful high and I try to stay around the 1,500 mark....tonight for example, I ate 1443 calories and had earned 500 from exercise.... I still have 257 calories I can eat and stay on track... but I am sure I didn't record the 2 cliff blocks I ate (about 66 calories) and something else...anyway, the app says I should be down 10 pounds in 5 weeks... yay!! 

Really thinking about LP and what I got myself into. This is going to be amazing. It really does not matter what time I finish, as long as it's under 17 hours. I have to keep telling myself that!! But Golly Gee... I do not want to be out there that long... wow... 

Check back in a couple days...xxoo
  

UPDATE....

Hold the presses.... it's me, posting an update!! 

So, what has happened lately...Old news, I did close on my house and I am finally a home owner! Yay... I love my little house, even though trying to get caught up with repairs is a pain, not anything that has to be done, but stuff that should be done. 

The biggest news is this crazy girl signed up to do IMLP 2013... like whoa!! 

Yeah... that's me... 

And Scott, Courtney and Tyler as well...Mike is gonna be our catcher at the end!! 

So on my journey to IMLP, my goal is to lose some more poundage... gotta get that race weight down so I can be fasta!! Take a peek at how far I have come....

October 2010 Wineglass Marathon

July 2011 MusselMan

August 2012 Chris Thater

It's been a long, slow road... But it is getting there... time to put the hammer down and do as much strengthening, base building and weight loss before the end of the year...

Lake Placid baby, here we come!!! 

Closing

I am closing on my house soon!! Excited. I was "window" shopping today for ideas and I have come to the conclusion that I have no clue what my "style" is anymore. I like country cottage lake like and I like modern and smooth.... How would you combine those?? This could prove to be an interesting experiment. I have decided the bathroom will be purple. Kind of a modern country look. The new shower curtain I got a month or so ago has purple "flowers" on it, but they have a modern feel, so I think it is a good combination of what I am looking for. The bed room is going to be more country romantic. I have a white down comforter, and my fav sheets have blue flowers. Now to add some stripes and a little more blue... plus some furniture would be cool. I don't think I have had a bed in 10 years or more... At least I got the idea for 2 rooms done!!

On another note. Dalton is worried about Ted. I guess he is having panic attacks or something. Good news is the guns are still at a friend of ours house. I think he is really worried though. He's gonna call me tomorrow and let me know why he thinks there is something really wrong. sigh.... poor kid. That's a lot for him to go through and I am so grateful that he is doing it. I don't know why Ted doesn't call Nate or Matt when he is feeling like this. Maybe he calls Dalton cuz he's closer? IDK...

Night all!! Thanks for checking in!

HUNGRY

Oh my... I hate the pending visit from my unwanted friend. I get so sleepy and so hungry... I could eat a moose and I want junk food. The only occasion I crave chocolate!! Good thing I am too lazy to leave the house to go get some. Oh...and cheese doodles... and pizza... wings... and funny drinks... yikes.

So, on another note, I have not taken my measurements in awhile, and maybe today was not a good day to take them, I am sure I maybe a little bloated, not happy with what I saw, but then again, it's been so long, I have no clue where I have written them down and I have stuff packed away... the only ones I could find were from '09 and I am about the same size. My waist is shrinking, but these damn hips wont budge!

Alas... on the house front, I have my commitment letter, now just waiting for a closing date...yeah! Trying not to question whether or not I am doing the right thing, if it's the right house, all that other stuff... I made a decision and that's all there is to it. Sometimes I think about the lake shack... yeah, I really can't call it a house. I do, I almost wish I had had the guts to go for it... STOP... I know I made a sound choice. My lake house will come. It will happen in time. I got the best bang for my buck out of everything that I looked at. I would have never touched a single family house in this condition for this price. There were a few I looked at that were less, but there was updating that needed to be done. (not that I don't plan any here...) but I really have 2 houses for the price of one...lol. Things are coming together.

So there, just a brief update... nothing too exciting here... tatah for now.

A couple pics

The top is my new hair color... Mmmm... not sure.

The bottom is Dorchester Park... One of my favorite places to run!

Ahh, I am done with 8 days of the midnight shift (11pm-7am) Trying to adjust back to days, so I was up at 3:30AM, which is okay. I kinda like to get up early. I am not one who likes to rush in the morning, I like to sit, relax, drink coffee and play on the computer. There lies the problem. I have been spending way too much time on the computer. I think I am going to have to set myself a timer. It's not like I am really doing anything productive. Just Facebook, reading some really stupid news articles, checking my email... oh, and reading 100 different ideas on how to eat, what to eat, when to eat. If I would spend all that wasted time looking stuff up and just start planning healthy meals, cooking and packing a lunch, I would probably be so much better off...

So here goes. My friend who was having GI issues suggested eating chicken and rice and slowly add food back in. Good plan...but I have food in my house that should be eaten up... Nothing to horrible, (I finished the chicken wings last night...lol) but fish, eggs, couple of cheese sticks... so, If I go to the store to buy food, it has to be chicken and rice or eat what I have in the house... sounds easy...but hard... but I really can't be having issues while I am running.

Other good news is that the house I am buying appraised well and hopefully I will have my commitment letter soon! I am so excited and I have so many things I want to do... craziness... It is great to feel my creative juices coming back. It feels like it has been so long. I am praying that the upstairs tenant will move out well before the 19th and that I will be able to get in there and do some cleaning and painting and some minor work before I move in. So much easier when there is not crap in the way!

AH...yes, I survived my 40th Birthday! I think I got over the sadness of turning 40 before it happened, so it turned out to not be a big deal. Still finding it hard to believe that I am 40. I sure don't feel it. I still feel young and full of life. I get scared when I think that I an "1/2" way through it, but then I remember... 40 years is a LONG time... I have done a lot in 40 years... a lot... and there is a lot more to do... so get over it!! It's just hard because where I am in life is a complete 180 from where I was going to be, but God knows what he is doing and I am trying to hear what he is saying.

So, all in all, I am loving life. I love being positive... try not to be negative as it only drains you. Sometimes at the moment when everything is going wrong, it is just so easy to be negative and throw temper tantrums... yell,scream and bitch... but it is draining... exhausting... and while I sometimes go there, I don't stay there as long as I used to. It is an amazing feeling. So, while the shit is really hitting the fan in my life... there is no place I would rather be. It's my life and I love it and I am not going to trade it for anything.

GI

And no, not GI Jane... Did a 6 mile run yesterday, which is great. What is not so great is the time I spent in the porta-potties. I have been so good lately and I hope this is a freak thing and it's not my GI acting up again, but now if I think about it, I had issues Saturday as well. It is so bad, that I can see the potty's and still have "issues". Did some research and there is so much info... low fiber, no dairy, (except yogurt w/ live enzymes), I know that fruit seems to bother me...grapes, pineapple... So, off to the groc. store to experiment... I had pizza tonight for dinner, but we shall move forward... Going to try a bland diet for a few days... mashed potatoes, banana's, fish, chicken, eggs, yogurt, cucumbers... oh what else can I add... gonna be boring, but I need to figure this out.

Whine Ass

Okay...really need to update this more often, but I already spend way too much time hanging out on Facebook...wow, yet another excuse!! So...where am I? Lost... No, just headed down a path that was not what I had planned. An unfamiliar road that I had not thought about as part of my future. I had my paths laid out... when the road forked, this one had a "wrong way, do not enter sign" at the end of it, so I never ventured there.

So here I am... the prime of my life... turning 40 in a few short weeks... buying my first house... I will call it my first because even though my name is on the mortgage of the other one, I got it by default. I didn't pick it out, although we made a lot of changes and more were in the works for the future. I am headed for divorce... after spending most of my 20's and all of my 30's with the man of my dreams... only to have it come crashing down around me. The dreams we had of having a hobby farm..gone. No way I can do all that on my own. The moo's are gone, empty pastures growing up with weeds. The plan to raise the "family" cow, gone.... My boy Generator... sold... Ducky the mama moo...gone... the most awesome bull Cletus, gone... all my babies... sigh... All the time and money invested in fences, machinery, research... I will buck up and try not to think of it as time wasted, but lessons learned. Life, Death, the joy of watching babies born. The sadness of them not making it.

So, yes, the county girl is buying a city house... my county dogs are gonna flip when they move to the city, but it will be so good to have them back with me. I have looked long, and hard down the path... knowing that sometimes you have to go the wrong way to get where you need to be... think about the Salmon swimming upstream, fighting the current, just so they can have future generations to carry on... (I want to go see this sometime!!)

It really is a bright new future, it's just had to see it sometimes. The hardest thing for me is being on my own. Always had someone in my life... been such a needy person. Really, getting my identity from the person I was with. Sad. Its really hard figuring me out, but it is ...well... fun at the same time. I think there are a few people out there who may think I am a little ... crazy... oh well. I have to work on being patient, not rushing or pushing for things to happen. When it is right, it will fall into place.

On that note... off to start my day.

Hell Week

Really??? What a totally f'ed up week. Training took a back seat while I tried to figure out which side was up and what the frick I was going to do about it.... Long story short, things are on the up...going up the hill, it will be a tough climb, but it will be worth it. How do you cope when someone you care about tries to commit suicide. I don't like it, don't get it, but most important, blame me all you want, but it's NOT my fault. I care about you and I love you, I want to stay close to you, I do not want to be your "air" or the reason you live. I want you to be you, the best you you can be... if you can't do that, we will never be us again. I am not making a promise that we will be us, but I can promise if you don't pull your head out of your ass, it will NOT happen...

Mmmm, tough love...

and where am I? Confused as shit and once again, forced in the role of the strong one... when do I get to be the weak one, break down and cry? Although... I hate crying and I think I have mourned enough over this loss. I just long to have big, strong arms wrapped around me and hold me and tell me everything will be okay, I am doing a good job and I am loved. I need that physical holding. I know in my heart God is telling me this and he is holding me, but I can't feel it... I need the human touch... Is that what I need to learn??? That I need to just trust in God and that I really don't need that physical touch??? God, I just want to be held. Like when I was little and sick and my Daddy would just wrap his arms around me and hold me until I feel asleep...

I did get to run 3 miles yesterday, outside no less! Yeah. Meet Courtney at the Vestal rail trail, a little windy, but it was great to get outside!

Did 1/2 hour on the trainer tonight, then about 35 min in the pool. Lost count of yardage, but somewhere around 1200. Been too long! Refocus February is going well...I think!

Planning on running tomorrow. Bible Study at 6:30.

Thursday is marriage counseling, then swim (maybe =))

Friday I go see Grace. Run?? Bike??

Puppy Update

What a week. I have learned many valuable lessons. The most important is that you should not always think with your heart, sometimes you should listen to what your head says... I also learned that sometimes the first impression you get of someone is not always the proper one. Mmmm, the Big Guy has really been looking out for me, teaching me some real good lessons!!!

So, needless to say, puppy has a new home and he will be much happier. Someone who will love him and be home more often and on a regular schedule!!!

Exercise took a back seat this week. Bad bad month so far. Time to regroup. Yikes. Need to find a new HIM to do. Work schedule got all mucked up because we had somebody leave, so I have to cancel some of the races I had planned on doing. Like I said....Bad bad month...

Onward and upward!!!!!

Arg

Well, did I mention I got a puppy...why? No clue. Not only did I get a puppy, he's a toy poodle... What was I thinking??? Why didn't someone stop me??? Ugh...but he sure is cute and lovable, but a pain in the ass!!

So, my weight for today was 185, yes!! No training tonight because I went to a running clinic... injury free this year is the goal. So, hey, why not. No training tomorrow either...marriage counseling, meh, and Bible Study...sigh... Did I mention how stupid I am for getting a puppy???

Monday, Monday

Still trying to recover from 7 night shifts... Didn't sleep at night very well for the last few...been tried, so not a whole bunch of training and of course, now that I am awake...eating! Started out the weekend totally crappy... I am talking pizza, chili cheese dogs and bar wings all in one day...blah. Made the weight go from seeing the 183's for a couple of days back up to the 187's. I knew it would go up, but... that's what you get for crap sleep, no training and tons of food.

On the bright side, I have a new friend...his name is Ezekiel. I will call him Zeek for short. He's a puppy. How in the world I ended up with a puppy is just so insane! He's a sweet heart though. He's not just any dog either...he's a toy poodle... INSANE... I am a big dog person!

Also made it to church this week. Yeah. It's been a couple of weeks, always seems like the message always hits so hard. Working on the well rounded me...it's tough. It's one thing to sin, but another to know you are sinning while you are doing it and not care. Yikes.

Friends

L-R Mike, Joel, Diana, Bob & myself. Cayuga Lake Triathlon, August 2011

Been awhile!

I'm back.... not that I was ever here too much to begin with... So much has changed in the past couple of years, so much to catch up on, so many priority changes. Life is amazing. The paths we take, the choices we make, all define who we are, what we will become...I have discovered what I want... don't know if I can put an exact word on it, but happiness is the one I will use. To put it in it's simplest form. Ah, but the catch is, it's not simple, and it's far from easy!!

Today I will start with what I will say has been the easiest thing for me to change... and it has not been easy. It's the comfort I feel in my own skin. Not the "looks"...but the comfort knowing that I am healthy, that I don't have to be a twiggy model, that, if I want, I can lay naked on my couch and not be critical of how I feel. That I can stand in my bathing suit in a room full of beautiful people and not try to cover up because, yep...this is me, and you know what... I am here doing this. I am here competing against you and more importantly, against me. I can do this, I am alive and I am living. Now on the flip side... I know I am the chunky chic, but I also know I am doing something about it. I am finally really doing something. No magical quick fixes here, but it's happening. Part of my reason for starting this blog back up is the falseness that we are shown on TV. To watch shows like the Biggest Loser, as "inspiring" as it may seem, I feel it sets so many people up for disappointment. These people who are losing so much every week, it's such a false sense of hope for those of us who can't training for hours each day and have someone cook for us and so on... in the real world, that's not how it works. Now I am not saying that someone can not lose the weight faster than I have been, yeah, it's been super slow for me, but once again... happiness. I am happy with the progress. I do not diet, I do not feel cheated. I enjoy my pizza, drinks with friends, pub food...yeah, I could stop all of that and it might have made the weight come off faster, but, why? I was talking to a lady I know from some road races and wow, she looks great, she has lost a ton of weight. I told her that she looked great, congrats and all that... her response... I wish I could eat. Really? So, not that I always eat junk, I try to watch how much or how often I eat crap, and I am far from a healthy eater all the time, I just try to remember to STOP when I am full, eat what I like, but only eat 1/2... little things like that. If I go to subway and grab a sub...cuz I love chicken wing subs... I will only put half on my plate and put the other half right in the fridge. Why? because if I put the whole thing on my plate, I will eat it all... and yep, I have a little bag of chips too...

I should add, the picture about is from August, 2011... Cayuga Lake Tri. More pictures to come!

From Jan 2011-Dec 2011~I lost 20 pounds.

I am down a total of about 25-28 pounds as of today.